“Sometimes your work is to create the exact thing for others that you wish would have been there for you when you needed it.”
Yesterday I came across a BBC article that highlighted how people with eating disorders are being ignored because their BMI isn’t low enough for treatment.
I come across this far more frequently than I would like with clients and it just highlights how anyone can be suffering from a poor relationship with food and their body despite the fact that they may be an ‘average’ weight.
And the system is failing them.
It also massively resonated with me on a much deeper level. In my teens, I lost myself to an eating disorder. I was diagnosed and I did receive treatment but it was stigmatised and largely inadequate.
I therefore suffered for many, many years. Because I managed to keep myself out of hospital, I ‘slipped through the net’.
But I experienced acute trauma as a result. I spent years struggling with food and trying to force myself in to a smaller body.
Of course, few people could understand because from the outside looking in, I was in a slim body so how could I possible be experiencing what anyone in a larger body does??
Trust me, I did! And in fact, it was probably worse.
Just as larger people are expected to be smaller, I was expected to be OK and accept my body.
But eventually, I did. It took years of self-discovery, pain, failures, and mistakes but I am pleased to say that I recovered (I once never believed I could and thought I would die before I was 30)!
It is now why I so passionately want to help others, to provide the support that I never received.
Please don’t think that because I am privileged, I don’t know what it feels like to hate your body and to struggle with food every waking moment because believe me, I do and it is what makes me damn good at my job!