Something quite wonderful happened to me today.
The past couple of weeks have been tough.
Lockdown 3 with 2 young boys when trying to build a business is taking it’s toll.
There has been little time for me and whilst I am working every hour God sends, I haven’t been seeing much return on investment.
At least that is what I was telling myself …..
‘I have literally spent hours on calls with potential clients this week and not a single one has signed up!! I thought I was good at this…What am I doing wrong?’ was the self-narrative last night.
Instead of focussing on all of the AMAZING feedback I have been receiving from clients smashing their goals this week, I chose to focus on what I believed was going wrong.
And without me even realising, this frustration was manifesting itself in my words and actions.
So much so that a social media post I put out this morning made a friend of mine curious.
He reached out to me asking if everything was OK.
It surprised me as I had no idea my innermost feelings were that transparent.
So we got on a call.
Now, this friend of mine knows me a little and is a wonderful listening ear.
He gently questioned what was going on and, of course, it all came out.
Whilst talking to him I realised just how vulnerable I have been.
I explained how frustrated I was with my apparent lack of business skill and this soon led to me pouring my heart out about my boys.
Why were they being so difficult?
Why did I feel like a failure there also?
Then it dawned on me.
I had got myself so caught up in trying to prove I can build a successful business that I was forgetting not only the basics but what really matters.
Firstly, my boys….
Our ‘protected’ time was being encroached upon and so they were playing up which then creates a vicious cycle (I know this so well…how did I let it happen again?).
Secondly, my clients….
They matter more than any sales funnel and whilst I was absolutely showing up for them, I was choosing to focus on pushing myself harder instead of congratulating myself on being a damn good nutritionist.
I must point out here that I celebrate every single win, big or small, with every single client but I wasn’t allowing that warm, fuzzy feeling to take hold because my inner critic had taken over.
I help clients day in, day out to reframe their self-destructive voices yet they had snook up on me without me even realising.
This is one of the reasons I would never judge a client, I know how hard it can be to change learned behaviour!
I also know that our relationship with food, with our body, and our mind is ever-evolving. This is what I give them tools and skills, not plans and rules.
Anyway, without making this a War and Peace novel, there are a few things I learned today:
1.Our underlying thoughts and beliefs manifest themselves in our behaviour whether we realise it or not.
If we do not address these, we will fall deeper and deeper. It is much the same with nutrition. We often think that we are in control of what we are doing so when things don’t go to plan, we feel guilt and shame. The only way to move on from this is to dig deep and really understand why it is you eat the way you do….
2. It is so easy to get caught up in the things that don’t matter
I am constantly telling my audience that it is not WHAT you eat but HOW you eat that really matters. too many people get caught up in thinking that they can’t lose weight or they have no energy because of the cabs they are eating. They try to micromanage things instead of focussing on the simple things that make all of the difference. I am guilty of doing the same thing with my business these last couple of weeks, of thinking that I am useless because of a few cold leads!
3. The universe will always bring you what you need when you need it
Looking back, I think I subconsciously used language today that attracted the exact person I needed at just the right time. So much so that one of my clients rearranged her session just as I was trying to find time to chat with my friend. I am a true believer that people come into your life for a reason and this rings true with many of my clients.
4.Everything comes together exactly when it is meant to
If things aren’t happening for you as you think they should right now, take a deep breath and have faith. If you are focussing on the right things, it will when it is meant to. When I was chatting today, I realised that I actually can’t take any more clients right now without sacrificing other areas of my life. I was looking for that ‘quick fix’ which never works out in the end and that I harp on about avoiding all the time.
Yet all the calls and work I have done is getting me closer to getting the right clients at the right time.
5. We all have the answers deep down if we listen
I knew deep down what was going on for me. I also knew I needed an outside perspective to pull me out of the hole I was digging. Much the same as the work I do with clients. I help them make permanent change by unlocking the self-awareness that lets then see they CAN achieve what it is they truly desire.
6. I need more self-care than I realised
I know better than anyone about the importance of self-care but I failed to realise just how much more I need right now with all the underlying uncertainty and added pressure. I know it is the same for my clients and one even had the same lightbulb moment herself this week.
I guess you could say that I am grateful that my words betrayed me today, they actually have my back more than I realised!
It also means that I can get back to having some fun with my boys again because the biggest lesson today has taught me is that life is too short to get hung up on things that really are out of control.
That and the fact that I am surrounded by a handful of truly amazing people who really do have my back.
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